Alright, first a disclaimer: I don’t know much about poetry. I enjoy reading it. But I’m not sure I have the eye or the ear or the soul to write it. However, after following many of the excellent poetry blogs here on wordpress, I wanted to try.

I copied the style of this poem by Murisopsis. I was also inspired by this post at Naturalist Weekly, about how porches can be the liminal space between human zones and nature zones. Which makes them good spaces for creative reflection. I’m lucky enough to have a back porch so I went out there to gather some ideas for poems.

This format is called a bell curve Fibonacci. Each number in the Fibonacci sequence is created by adding up the two previous numbers. To make it a bell curve, you just reverse the numbers after a certain point.

The syllable count I used is: 1-1-2-3-5-8-13-21-13-8-5-3-2-1-1.

A few questions I had while writing:

  1. So … it’s really still poetry even if it the words do not rhyme?

  2. How do you count syllables? For example, does the word “actually” consist of two syllables (how I pronounce it) or the full four? Maybe it doesn’t matter since “actually” is not a very poetic word anyways.

  3. What is the right amount of punctuation to add? That’s also a question I have in regular writing, specifically with commas.

All this overthinking is probably not favorable for writing poetry. Well, it is a fun writing practice regardless. There I was, lying in bed late last night, maniacally counting syllables on all ten fingers as if I was doing math problems in my head.

I like the bell curve Fibonacci because even if the result doesn’t make much sense, at least the layout has a pleasing symmetry! πŸ™‚

some thoughts on the porch

gray
smoke
lungs hide
breeze on skin
a bee flies near me
i hope my friend will get famous
for her sanity, and so i can name-drop knowing
a celebrity, although she is the only one i know who cares who people know.
in our old apartment I patched up the roof where the
rainwater seeped down the wall and
into my mattress.
the bed dried,
our wall
stayed
orange.

bee
in
flower
folded wings
she looks so peaceful
unlike the post office lady
who made a ruckus at the back of the line because
the tape wasn’t free there was no pen to spare and no one paid her attention until
she raised her voice at “you money-hungry useless *****!”
forehead creased with decades of rage
the worker was nice
but my eyes
glared at
the
floor.


🌹🐝🌹🐝🌹

54 thoughts on “Poems on the porch

  1. Porches are indeed wonderful places for solemn reflection and creative inspiration. Well done in the free form poem. Good rhythm and definitely does not need a rhyme. πŸ‘

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Not all poetry rhymes, some have very specific rules. As for syllables, you could Google how many does such in such have and it will usually bring up the definition with the number in regards to “usually ” its 4

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    1. Thanks for answering my question Matt! I haven’t written a poem since I was a kid for school, and I remember rhyming being a big deal back then Lol… but a lot of poetry I see on WordPress isn’t rhyming from what I can tell. So thanks for clearing that up.
      Good to know about the syllables- I think I just need more practice. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Woot! These were both very well done! You did an excellent job with a volta (turn) in both of them – that is where you start with one theme and give it a twist to another while linking them… Anyway the rhyming is only required in certain forms, others want syllable counts, and then there are others that want both rhyme and syllable counts! The Fib and the Bell Curve are strictly syllabic so they only require you to count which makes them perfect for beginners! I hope you keep trying the different forms – there is plenty of room for all the different voices in the poetry realm!!

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    1. Thank you so much! “Volta” is a new vocab word for me and I love the definition you gave. I knew I wanted to squeeze in multiple thoughts but I’m not sure how well I linked them…I suppose either way it fits with the feeling of standing on the porch as random seemingly disconnected observations/memories float around.
      Anyways, thank you for your encouragement and the inspiration that got me out of my comfort zone. This definitely won’t be my last poetry post! πŸ™‚

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  4. Wow, what an enjoyable read! Can’t believe it’s your first attempt- you seem to be a natural πŸ˜‰ Trust me, the same questions that plagued you run through my head almost everytime I sit down to write poetry. I’m an amateur and live up to that word. πŸ˜…
    This has come out really well! The info at the beginning helped me to grasp better, the format of the poem. So yayy for the job well done! πŸ˜πŸ‘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you!! Wow I am so flattered, well to be fair I did a LOT of editing and must have re-counted the syllables a hundred times 😁
      Your blog is one of the blogs I mentioned that has inspired me- in general and also because of the poetry you have shared. Childhood Games and Hillock of Life come to mind. Not amateur at all my dear!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. How sweet of you to remember them! πŸ₯Ί Thanks tonnes 🀍 You truly Made my day!
        And hey, editing stuff a hundred times is totally fair πŸ˜‰ It only makes it more beautiful and immaculate every time πŸ˜€Would love to read more poetry from you. πŸ’–

        Liked by 1 person

  5. For someone who hasn’t dabbled in poetry as much as you mentioned, you clearly were meant to write it. I love what you have here and the ending lines will stick with me for some time to come. Very nice.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh my gosh LiziRose, you tackled a VERY challenging format my friend and you did an amazing job on this poem. πŸ€— Your words were woven so intricately and no honey, most types of poetry do not rhyme. Actually, rhyming poems are more difficult because your rhyme has to make sense.

    Fibonacci is one of the many formats I have never tried and I applaud your courage for just trying. and doing such a splendid job with “some thoughts on the porch.” Bravo my friend!!! πŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ™ŒπŸΌ Now, go on and take your bow!!! πŸŽ‰πŸ’˜β€πŸ’–πŸŽŠ

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Kym you are so sweet, and that’s really encouraging for me to hear. You make me feel more confident to share my writing.

      I was excited to try this format exactly because there was no rhyming required, but still in the back of my head I was questioning myself whether it was “real” poetry! Well now I know: Poetry can be fun to write! It’s still storytelling, just in a different way than I’m used to. This won’t be my last poetry post😁
      Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts!!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Honey, the first time you try anything, you are a little nervous about it, and I found such nervousness is a good thing. But once you have succeeded or not, you do not allow it to deter your thirst to try again, and again, and again. πŸ™ŒπŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌ

        I’m so proud of you for taking a leap of faith, and oh what a deep dive it was! πŸŠπŸΌβ€β™€οΈ Have a FANtabulous day my friend! 🌞🌟🀩

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Hi Lizi! I am learning something new from you again! It is interesting to know about the Fibonacci poetry format. You did a really good job with your poems. For me, poetry is something I do for outpouring all my emotions, and I don’t really care much about rhyming, but something it does come out as rhyming. Unlike prose or writing blogs, I don’t really think too much of grammar, punctuation, or syllables for that matter (To be honest, I don’t really know how to count syllables too), and I just try to kind of release that emotional pressure. Hope to see some more poetry from you on your blog!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Swati, I really appreciate your kind words. And your definition of poetry as “the outpouring of emotions” is lovely. I guess that’s why I’ve always been drawn to reading it. But when I went to write some, I began second-guessing myself! Rookie mistake haha!

      I’ll definitely be sharing more poems in the future β™‘ Thanks for stopping by!!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you πŸ™‚ I appreciate it! Glad my little story of the post office lady came through despite the constraints of the format. She put on QUITE the show, I wonder if she was going through some hardship in life and the coldness of bureaucracy just snapped something inside her…

      Like

  8.     Yes, it’s still poetry even if the words don’t rhyme. Leonardo Fibonacci a.k.a Leonardo Pisano would be proud of you; don’t know if there’s a Mr. Palindrome.
        Good thing that there was no pooch on the porch to bark about the smoke ’cause the barking would have driven your friend insane, though madness would offer her a name-dropping reign and rain for the flower for the bee who thought a wet mattress is a rose bed but now, deluted, thinks orange flowers are oranges, but it’s a bees job to pick-up and deliver pollen to the pistil of the flower: stigma, style, ovary, and ovule.
        But the line at the post office is nothing compared to the competition for a flower that perhaps might ensue between a humming bird and a bee. The one with the best lawyer would win. But for fame and name-dropping, get to know the Kangaroo that hops around with a pooch in its pouch and bee in its bonnet.
        Hooray for your poem

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Doug for reading my humble attempt and sharing your thoughts! I appreciate your comment 😁 Your writing is so fun to read. We definitely share an appreciation for botany, and nature in general! Thanks for visiting my blog. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ve had several poetry blogs. None ever worked out so I’d delete them. I’m not sure if I’ll ever do another one. But I might post some sometime. If you’re interested.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. you did this superbly, lovely to read! Val and d’Verse are my inspirations for different formats … I’ve found well over 100 so far :)

    Great shot of the flowers and that bee! Porch’s are great spaces for that twilight zone. I sit on mine at night to watch the stars and moon :)

    Most poetry doesn’t rhyme, I use syllablecounter. com to count mine, it’s much better than fingers and toes. I seldom use punctuation in my poems, we are all different and that’s part of the fun of poetry … I think you have talent

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your encouragement Kate!!
      I will check out dverse and the syllablecounter website (I was hoping someone would suggest a better method for me than counting on fingers and toes haha!) And thanks for the tip on punctuation. I definitely want to experiment with more minimalism.

      I took that lucky photo a while ago in someone else’s rose garden! Cheers to our porch reflections πŸ™‚πŸŒΉ

      Liked by 1 person

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